You Thought I Was Dead
by Victoriaaaaa
Summary: SPOILERS FROM 5x11 "And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you"


Walking down the hall, as the lights flickering he couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. He passed inspector Jarvis, "_Sir, what the hell is going on?_" He asked as he watched chaos around him, "_I don't know, let's evacuate the building._" He looked around for a moment more before, walking up the stairs toward the second floor.

He couldn't see much, just smoke, he decided in that moment to run in there and find her. "_What the hell happened?_" he frantically questioned a passing officer. That's when he saw it, her, a woman lying on the floor, face down. "_McNally?!"_ He spoke, as she turned over relief washed over him, it wasn't her, then it hit him like a ton of bricks, if that wasn't her... Where was she?

He began to get frantic, where was she, he had just gotten her back. They were finally in their honeymoon phase, were they just happy together, he had finally told her the whole story, and she was still there. He had become emotionally naked with her, and she still loved him with all the baggage and scars he had, he couldn't lose her not now, not ever. "_Where's McNally?!_" He yelled to Oliver as he ran towards the evidence room, Chip finally was able to tell him she was in the evidence room.

He felt like he was seeing his life flash before his eyes, here he was ripping the door open of an evidence room that just had a bomb go off inside of it, with McNally in it, _his_ McNally. He screamed her name, no response, he was terrified. What if she was gone, like really gone this time, not coming back in a few months after her suspension was over or in 6 months when Dakota was told to wrap it up, what is she was gone forever, he couldn't live with that. Throwing any and all object in his way across the room, he called her name again, still no response. She couldn't be gone she was a fighter, she would fight to stay with him, and he could fight to get to her, tipping a shelve over that was in his path, he could hear Oliver asking if he had found her. He didn't respond.

His mind still racing, as his eyes searched for her, if she was gone then _who would he marry?_ He thought, who would have is smart-ass children? Who would just be there for him, in every way possible. Because he knew she would, she'd smile at him after a long fight that started over nothing, she'd tell him she loved him in a whisper as she let her drunken-self surrender to sleep after few to many drinks at the Penny, she would attempt to make him dinner one night, and slightly set the oven on fire before he could come in a put it out like he did when they were baking for her housewarming party.

She would be there to tell him that he is nothing like his father, because if he ever doubt that he would just have to turn around and ask her. She would tell him all these stories that she had saved in that beautiful mind of hers, about times where he showed such grace and character, things his father would never be able to show. They were the times that she would fall in love with him all over again.

She would be there for him because she loved him with everything she had in her, and he couldn't bare the thought of that love leaving, not anytime soon. He needed a lifetime of that love, and in this moment he didn't know if God would allow him to have it.

He called her name again, from the far back wall he heard he respond, _"What?_" It was all he needed to refocus and get to her, she was there, tearing everything away in his path, she saw her.

She was lying on her side, face down, dropping to his knees he put his hands on her, just to know she was really there, she was okay, she was breathing, she was still here with him. He looked at her for a moment, he felt to relief wash over him like a wave,"_You okay?_" He managed to say, as his breath was choppy, _"I can't really here anything.._" She said in a louder voice then usual. "_It's okay,_" he chocked out, trying to cover up with a slight bit of laughter but she saw it.

In his eyes, she was the glossiness, it was something she had never really seen on him before, he was always so guarded even after he had opened up she had never really seen it, it was nice in a way to know he really cared, he cared enough to cry at the thought of her being gone, he really did love her, "_Are you crying?"_ she asked as they just stared at each other. Her looking at this man who she knew without a doubt was in-love with her, and to all accounts, no matter who came into their lives, Marlo. Nothing would change that. He was loved her, and by God she loved him too.

He on the other hand just looking at her, watching her chest move in and out, letting his mind soak up everything about her, because for a while there he could he may never be able to again. "_NO,"_ he said his breathing still not steady by any means, "_I got smoke in my eye,_" not wanting to ruin his cool guy image in her mind.

She nodded slightly, "_You thought I was dead, didn't you"_ she said trailing off. He leaned back on to his butt, just letting his mind look at her. He now knew how she felt when he got shot, completely helpless because he wouldn't be able to get to her fast enough and once he did, he wouldn't be able to help her. And what if she wasn't okay, would he have the chance to say everything he needed to before she was gone? She was right he did think she was dead. He thought he may never have a change to make her laugh again, or see her eyes light up when she did. Never be able to ask her to marry him in the most Sam Swarek of ways.

She was right he thought she was dead, but he was going to spend the rest of his days thanking God she wasn't.


End file.
